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Wednesday, 19 November 2008

  • Unfettered Access (10 of 10) "It never hurts to help"

    Eek the Cat, was secretly my all time favorite cartoon when I was younger.
    His trials and tribulations always arose from being helpful, and nice. It was something that I found close personal synchronization with.

    I have been called a "nice guy" a lot in my life, and a few times an a prick. which I find satisfying as it keeps a healthy perspective of who I am. However I keep a close eye on myself as I never want to dip into being so egocentric or benignant.

    The more I do, the more opportunities open up that I can interact with others to show the example of being nice to others for no other reason than I can, brings with a reward few seek and that is a smile on a persons face, or that feeling inside that you have done something wholly good.

    I really enjoy being around others and learning what they have to say or where they have been or who they are, it is equally enjoyable for me to give others a taste of what a RAoK can do for a persons mood and behavior.

    Overall, I like helping, it allows me to actively be a participant in making someones day go smoother.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

  • Unfettered Access (9 of 10) Adapatablity

    76. (from the Dao de Jing)

    Man is born gentle and supple.
    At death, his body is brittle and hard.
    Living plants are tender,
    and filled with life-giving sap,
    but at their death they are withered and dry.
    The stiff, the hard, and brittle
    are harbingers of death,
    and gentleness and yielding
    are the signs of that which lives.
    Which ever refuses to yield, the warrior who is inflexible,
    or the tree that does not bend is condemn to death or easily broken.
    Thus the hard and brittle will surely fall,
    and the yielding and flexible will overcome.

     I find that my 1st most powerful tool I own and take complete possession of is my adaptability. The source of my adaptability comes from my overwhelming drive to learn & grasp the meanings, motives, behaviors and patterns of individuals that I come in contact with.

    I have had to developed and hone my adaptability by responding and reacting to the patterns, my surroundings and environment.

    Of late however I have been tested to by others of where my limits are with my adaptability, little do they know I have no limits, I have stretched, beaten, shaped and molded myself to move and flow in any direction and still retain large portions of who I feel I am.

    For the most part, I keep who I am, at the foremost of whatever I do, I make the impression onto anything and anyone I touch that I am in fact not what I may appear to be.

    My mind sets a pace for me that I keep up with to help distract me from the rigors of a life not bound by convention. In someways, not having a granite slab of codes affords me leeway that would be unthinkable for others, however the reverse is that I am often alone in my way of thinking, which is all the more reasons I value my friends and their level of trust in my ability to be more than I think I am.

    However the deep reason I embrace adaptability so wholly, is that it shields me from the misfortunes that my life has undergone, especially within the past several years.

    I take everything thrown at me and use it to the best of my ability, I have learned that hate, anger, frustrations and personal critical attacks against me are fuel to make me better and understand a wider path of people and interactions.

    This is all not to discount that I can not be taken aback or lose footing, however this serves as a reminder that no matter how much you pull and push against something as fluid as the air or water, it will always retain its shape, despite what it may be contained in.

    -CyTerrin

Monday, 21 April 2008

  • Unfettered Access (8 of 10) Optimism - A choice made clearly

    My old Sensei spoke a lot about being happy, finding happiness, knowing what joy is, discovering new ways to find happiness. His wife spoke about love, knowing what love is and how it changes people lives, she spoke of love as the bedrock of humanity, she told me once that when you feel love once, you will always want to be in love.

    At the time I thought she meant about the situation I was in and the issues I faced and the hardship that I endured, but that was not what she meant. In reality she wanted me to know that once you have had love be a part of you, it will not leave you, despite the fact that we try to dis-spell it against a person or discredit it toward a specific individual that we feel harmed our ability to love. Yet the truth is love is always there, it is an essence of the individual. It resides in every person who has felt it, and can not be banished by another person.

    I know 1st hand how terrifically awesome the pain is being rejected, being let go, being used and discarded, yet I also know that those emotions fade, but love is what stays behind to console and nurture us back from the depths of the drama of relationships.

    I took a part what these two masters said and restructured into my own daily life, I have touched the burning fires of love and I know what it is like to be enthralled, even at this hour, i sit knowing that feeling stirs inside me for someone who recently has become close to me, I feel it as sure as I can hear the sound of my breathing, love IS tangible, it is the relationships that encapsulate love, that is what causes the anguish, anxiety and frustrations and this is only so because communication is lacking (which is the fuel to keep a relationship moving forward).

    But love is only one part to the three part mixture of optimism, Happiness and Confidence are the other parts.

    Happiness is everywhere, I can not stress this enough, I can find everything and anything to be a source of happiness (not necessarily my own). Happiness is the lubrication to the keeping a relationship progressing. I find that if both parties are happy and know what love is and are willing to broach it together and communicate willingly to one another than failure will never be an option.

    I should point out that Happiness is a fickle thing however, it is a thing that is and is not a constant. I have tried to narrow down why, but it yet eludes me, and I have not the wish to chase after such notions, instead I would rather spend my energy on generating more happiness for myself and others. For me happiness comes in many and wildly different and dramatic forms, for drinking tea & people watching, to having my head in my lovers lap, to careening at top speed down a hill on a bike, to something as simple as a hello from a stranger, performing RAoK, getting hugs/kisses from my lover, being proactive or finding new places I have never seen or been.

    To me Happiness is the emotion, Love is the mood and Confidence is the expression of the two former states of mind. Confidence is a complex and wily concept, it always teeters dangerously close to arrogance, yet if applied correctly it reaps untold rewards. Confidence is the admixture to creating a lasting burn rate for the brightly lit candle called Optimism.

    Optimism for me is knowing that what I do now, will echo in eternity, it is what helps keep me on my path and sets the ground work for my future. I don't see set backs I see opportunities, I don't see failures I see areas where I can recapture and propel myself further. Optimism for me is truly the most potent drug one can prescribe for oneself.

    If you have known me for any small amount of time you know I love to laugh, and laugh I do at about anything that is funny or clever. I see laughing as the most direct way to alleviate stress, anxiety and frustrations.

    because no matter what happens, everything will take a turn for the better and we will all look back and see how funny all this really is.

    -CyTerrin

Sunday, 20 April 2008

  • Unfettered access (7 of 10) The space between Happiness and Joy

    It's called Love. thats the space between happiness and joy. I once knew what it felt like, now I only have washed out memories of it and it tears at me at my soul. That place between Happiness and Joy, is everywhere, it could be in your lovers lap, your lovers chest, in their hands, their eyes, their smile and in their love for you.

    It is something I lost, it is something I would revert all my contentment, rush for progress and netruality for, it is something that should never be sacrificed.

    It is a small place the space we speak of, and some may unknowingly think they grow out of it, but what people dont realize it's small for a reason, it is to keep you humble, it is too keep you close and it is small to keep you together.

    I failed to understand that, and I paid a price way to high, for something that can never compare to that spot where your lover says to you in the hushed tones and silent looks, that you are loved.

    Never ever give up the space between Happiness and Joy, no matter how tempting anything else may seem, because it is a rare place that can take you years to find and once lost, can almost never be found again.

    -CyTerrin

  • Unfettered Access (6 of 10) looking at all the angles

    Sometimes not all the angles are looked at, and in fact most of the time they are overlooked. I have started to learned that no amount of extra thought can help bypass that tragic slip-up where the thing that is overlooked is now breeding unwarranted chaos, all the while it remains unnoticed to be prevented.

    I am no longer 100% sure of the merit of peering into the void of possibilities to plot a course through the mine field of reality. This reasoning is due to the fact that as often as it happens, that singular item or event that slips by, can create the most havoc or backfires to the entire endeavor. I have seen this effect happen to many times till in fact that I have started to plan for things to go wrong, and when they don’t I sometimes wait for it to.

    In reality looking at all sides and angles is basically only giving options to bad choices. I know 1st hand, in one sense it helps so much to see where things can and will go wrong, in other cases, it is almost better to turn a blind eye toward the chaos only to have it tap you on your shoulder and overwhelm everything completely.

    Through out all this havoc however, I have started to find a sense of balance even during the most horrible or chaoitic situations. I attribute this to the fact that I now can see alternatives away from and around the most trying of situations.

    Yet the one thing all this planning does not prepare me for is regret, shame and humiliation, these are the things I woefully dread and have unwittingly ..s in my daily life that I wish even the best plan can not mitigate any of it.

    Tragically there is never a plan that can evade such, I have tired and searched and experimented with all sorts of ways, only to find that my ardent hope is one day I will find that plan, and make full use of it, until then I will be plowing forward, trying to avoid as many pitfalls as I humanly can and learn to live with my mistakes.

    -CyTerrin

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